


that's us (i can take the fall, the pain, the pleasure)

by mnlsoo



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Breakup, Colors, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Sunsets, The butterfly effect, sun and moon references, wooyoung used to love sunsets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:54:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23669473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mnlsoo/pseuds/mnlsoo
Summary: in which wooyoung started to love sunsets when he met san
Relationships: Choi San & Jung Wooyoung, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Comments: 5
Kudos: 10





	that's us (i can take the fall, the pain, the pleasure)

_“I can take the fall, the pain, the pleasure  
And you can take it all, for worse, or better  
But oh, what if we're wrong?  
What if we're not all that we thought?”_

_(That’s us - Anson Seabra)_

Sunsets never felt the same for Wooyoung anymore. It used to fill him with warmth from the inside until it spills over the top and radiate it to the people around him. The hues of pink, blue and purple dance in the twilight sky. Soft embers of the sun fade in the horizon.

He remembers how the sunset looked the first time he met San. It was mellow, familiar and beautiful. Everything that San is all Wooyoung hoped to be. He was different before he met the older boy. Saw the world as monotonous, lacks every bit of color and was overall…boring.

Wooyoung was never the type to have something to look for. He navigated his days aimlessly and learned to accept whatever was in front of him. No such things like dreams and ambitions.

When he met San he began to dream.

***

It started slowly. Almost unnoticed.

The day San sat next to Wooyoung for class changed his entire life.

Some people call it the butterfly effect. The single flutter of a butterfly’s wing would cause an entire storm somewhere else. In this case, the storm formed in Wooyoung’s heart and settles there. 

San was thunderstorm. His presence was deafening and strong. Never a day has gone by where Wooyoung wasn’t fazed by the existence of San alone. They lived in two entire different worlds. San loved going out, trying new things with his friends. Always partying and getting lost in the light of the night. While Wooyoung stayed at home. In his room where he felt safe the most. Away from anything that could hurt him and take him for granted. 

Wooyoung decided that he didn’t want to be associated by San but it didn’t help being next to him everyday and the constant effort of San trying to talk to him. 

San would always ask questions about Wooyoung. Anything about him really and it didn’t help Wooyoung’s agenda keeping his heart safe. He was afraid to get hurt knowing he would never fit in San’s life. 

A mismatched puzzle. 

***

Before Wooyoung even acknowledged it, he was falling. He was falling so hard he doesn’t even have time to react to the situation. He wanted to blame himself for being careless. For allowing someone to peek into the cracks of his soul as he desperately tries into curl into darkness.

He was used to detachment. Never really letting anyone in his life. Sure he had friends, but they don’t know about the dirty secrets which Wooyoung struggles to keep. All those nights he spent crying after thinking too much about anything. The nights he spent inside the bathroom clutching a bottle of pills. The nights he spent wishing what would it feel like to reach the end of the tunnel.

He didn’t know how but somehow San managed to find him in that dark tunnel of his. Glowing so softly, just like his smile overflowing with sweetness.

San was yellow like the sun. Whenever Wooyoung looked at him, he discovers hope for the first time. Hoping he could be like San who shines in the things he do.

San was the sun. Wooyoung was the moon.

He had phases. Always changing and never stays in one place. But for San, he was constant. Always beaming and always beautiful.

When the sun falls and the moon is about to shine, that is when the sunset happens. It is when the yellow fades out into pink, purple, blue and orange. A mix of colors Wooyoung had never seen before because all he knew was the night sky. Looking at the beautiful scene laid out in front of him, he weeps silently realizing what this change means.

He loves San.

The day Wooyoung confessed to San, the sky was painted a soft pastel pink. Everything felt like a dream especially the moment when San said he loved Wooyoung too.

Their love was beautiful, like the sun and moon dancing in the sky. Heavenly bodies chasing each other, but never quite together.

Wooyoung then decided that he would do everything to make San happy. He promised he would never hurt him and never leave his side. He promised their love was forever and nothing can break them apart.

But promises are easy to break, and a heart could only endure so much.

He noticed San didn’t glow anymore like he used too. Yellow surrounding his edges ever so lightly but never radiating once more. Then it struck him, his biggest fear unraveling beneath his own eyes.

“I should let you go.” 

“Why?”

“I can’t make you happy anymore.”

_Grey._

_Everything turned grey._

Wooyoung let San go.

He can’t bear the weight of staying in his life when he knows he cant make the love of his life happy anymore. 

He wanted San to fight. To say that what Wooyoung thinks is isn’t true. That he is still the reason why he shines so bright up until today.

But San was too tired to fight for Wooyoung so he silently agreed.

***

Now, Wooyoung is looking at the horizon and he knows it’s time for the sunset. But he couldn’t see it. He couldn’t see the colors anymore. He couldn’t see what was being painted in front of him because he slipped back again to his own darkness.

A familiar ache settles in his chest when he sees San glowing again. Yellow spilling over the top of his smiles and laughter with someone new. I guess Wooyoung was right. He couldn’t make the person he loved the most happy anymore. But what pains him is that, he was he first one to leave but he’s stuck where he left San in the first place.

He’s in the tunnel again, trying to reach the end but finally on his own this time.

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is my first fic i guess? i felt inspired when i listened to the song that's us by anson seabra i suggest listening to the song as well!! please feel free to comment thank you so much for reading <3


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